Philosphy 101

I'm so proud of myself! Day two of my daily blog. Off to a great start this year with my resolutions. Now if I could just stay away from the chips and gauc...I surrendered to those on the first day. 

Yesterday I was wondering what I would write about for today's. Trying to think of something worth writing about. Something that wouldn't bore the heck out of me or anyone who might read my blog. There is always the usual "girl" stuff like men, sex, beauty, wrinkles, those extra pounds. Any topic relating to self-esteem. 

But honestly those are surfaces discussions. The safe conversations that people discuss with their girls over cocktails. Those topics just aren't deep enough for me. Come on, you knew I always go for the dramatic. If I could get paid for over-reacting I would be millionaire by now. I have perfected the "he didn't call me when he said he would" reaction to a true Oscar winning performance. I can give references of a few poor men if you need...

So as I was in deep thought and conversation last night. It came to me like a ton of bricks! I wondered if this is what happened to prophets? The thought, story, lesson just slammed against their soul?

Hard to believe that 10 years ago (oh that hurts to say) I was a scared little freshmen on the campus of Seattle University. Trust me I was scared! Who calls their Mom the first night of class at 3 am and begs for her to pick me up. I was soooo homesick. Don't think that is funny or abnormal? Did I mention I grew-up about 40 minutes from the university?!

 

A quick side note - for those who have never heard of this gem of a university that sits above the downtown area - well you are missing out! I loved my time at SU. I quickly got over my homesick distraction and immersed myself in the culture of the university. Except the whole wearing no shoes and no showering thing. For some reason I just couldn't get into that one. Maybe it was the 266 days of rain that encouraged me to put on some shoes every morning.

There I was freshmen year at SU enrolled in all the "have to" courses - math, theology (we were a Jesuit university - insert joke here...) and philosophy. After purchasing my books,  I was particularly nervous about my philosophy course and just wasn't sure I would be able to wrap my brain around some of these topics. And when in life was I ever going to use philosophy - isn't that a major people pursue when their parents won't let them declare undeclared?

Sure I struggled to make sense of it all. My professor one of the most popular at SU, did his best to beat us over the head with the meaning, importance, lessons from these great thinkers. Well he didn't actually beat us physically, but that chalkboard sure took a beating. I listened, read the books, wrote the papers and of course got an A. 

I should mention here I am a recovering perfectionist. I spent my life doing whatever it took to be perfect. For real, I am recovering from this. It's true. I can now leave the house without "doing" my hair - big step. You think I am kidding here? Ask my JFK girls. They can contest to the girl who put on make-up and attempted to curl her hair when she camped! (Important side note for a deeper understanding of ME. Remember my goal...be honest...even when it's not easy.)

Looking back at my courses from Seattle University, the Intro to Philosophy was one of my favorites. The professor was animated, the information was thought provoking and I learned something new. However I didn't think that one of the messages our professor discussed on a daily basis would smack me in the head 10 years later. Ever heard of Dolly the Cow?

This past year has been a growth process of discovering who I really am, my dreams, the life I choose to live. This sort of thinking is common but it is the action of doing so that is not so common. In fact, when individuals act on their dreams people label them as crazy! We are commissioned to think, act, believe, pray, eat, exercise in a particular way. There is a right way and a wrong way to everything. Or is there? Or is those "ways" taught to us because of the fear of what would be reality if everyone did exactly what they wanted?

Sounds silly doesn't it. And you are probably saying we have free will.  You can do what ever you want. Really? You think so? So if I told you I graduated from college, got a job, got married. You would say I had free will to do so? Right. I did. But what if I told you during that time I realized I made a wrong turn along the way. And to get back to my straight line and my dreams it required a divorce. Now what you would say? Right. See. 

So how does this relate to the cow my philosophy teacher made famous for all incoming freshmen at Seattle University? It's all quite simple but we make it more complicated. The beautiful aspect to being human and what makes us more complex then other animals in the kingdom is our freedom to choose who we are, what we do and who we share it with. Dolly the Cow does not have this same option. She is told what to eat, when to eat and where to eat. Her milk is taken. And then she is slaughtered for the consumption of others.

When we choose to listen to the noise. When we choose to listen to others.  We eat what we are told to eat. Our "milk" or our creations are used to others can make what they want out of them - skim milk, whole milk, 1%, 2%, half and half, non-fat milk, etc. And...here is the worst part. We are metaphorically being slaughtered. But we experience a slow, miserable death. Instead we should be silent and listen to our soul and act out the passions that are the make-up of our truest being. When we don't we experience life like Dolly.

How does it feel to have a dream? A dream that is so powerful your whole body, mind and soul is consumed by it. Every second. And then because you think by the age of 30 you should have a steady job, house, family, 401k plan, etc. You crush your dream. You put it in the closet. You push it away every day when it awakes you in the morning. Isn't that a slow death?

I believe dreams are a part of our make-up and ignoring them is death - death to our soul. Trust me on this one. I didn't listen. I became Dolly. I have experienced this misery. Not only did it begin to kill me. It started to kill others around me. Let's just say I wasn't the life of the party. In fact I stopped getting invited to parties. Party Pooper extraordinaire! And as much as my choice might have hurt others the act of not taking steps towards my dream  was taking my breath away. Every second.

You see Dolly can't think for herself. But we can. That's the amazing gift of human life. The freedom to be creative and express ourselves however we want. I am learning this ideology. And let me tell you it's not easy. Especially for a person who has spent her whole life doing what she thought would make others happy. 

But the beauty is I was given a re-do. I can start over. I am making a conscious decision to live MY life. And if people don't like my decisions, actions, clothes, hair, car, house, etc. Too bad. It's not their life. It's mine. I am not going to be pushed into the herd and be told what to make of my life. This is my life. My dream. My freedom.

So next time a child colors outside the lines take a moment before you tell her to make sure she stays in the lines. What would the world be like if we didn't make children color in the lines? What if we just gave them the tools and resources to color and then said "go to town!"?  

In that same way I am taking the resources, stories, tools, lessons and love I have gathered along my life journey and choosing to color how ever the spirit moves me. You might think it's crazy. Sure. I get it. But just once. Try it. Color outside the line. And then tell me how free you feel?

"Freedom is the oxygen of the soul." - Moshe Dayan

Peace.Love.Dream.